"We can never flee the misery that is with in us."

Mario karts at 1 a.m.

This.

Is.

Bonding.

........

late night thoughts.

"I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conforming to my own taste." - Marcel Duchamp. I relate to this more than I want to somedays. But you for son dammed reason have always brought it up at the slight mention of your name. You brought out the worse parts of me that disgust me to the point of being unable to look at someone as yourself. Because you never understood it. With you I was forced to revisit all of the ugly person I am, and it was agony revived through and through. 80% of the time I wanted to murderer you. 10% of the time I wanted to be able to love you. And the other 10% of the time was sickened, confused, and terrified of its existence. You never grasped it. You only wanted to see the beautiful side of me you said you loved. It surely was not the so called "love" they speak of. For as soon as you saw its existence-in its true form; you could not accept it. But that is how it always ends. Till beloved "S" shows its face.

This seems to be an awkward day. I do believe some stress relieving will be needed in the end. And some coke... Yes that would be good too...

I just ate the most strangely wonderful poptart.

Ahh how I love the rain.

I still taste dentist in my mouth.....